It must be the memories of all that great loving. I can't explain it any other way. 20 years after meeting my ex, I still think about him almost everyday. I think about his face, his silly, eccentric style, the moments we first met. I think about his personality. I think about his mile and his laugh. I think about his touch, his embrace, his stare. I think about his family, even his deceased grandmother and how she sabotaged our relationship. i want this guy in my life so badly, I can feel it.
My feelings for him are probably so strong because my husband is such a fucking loser. If he put it down, it might allow me to put the past in the past with my ex. But he is such a loser, such a fuck up that I find myself constantly comparing him with my previous relationship. It's like cheating but not really. It's psychological cheating, which I'm more than positive that my stupid husband has done to me more than a few times. So whatever.
If my ex put it the right way, I'd probably leave my husband in a heartbeat. But he don't want me. He'd like to fuck me but he's not interested in a relationship, so I don't go there with him.
That means me stuck with my tired ass husband, who can't get shit right. UGH!
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